Territory Wars - Kitty Style!

Oh yesterday evening was fun. Oh yes. Let me set the scene:

We had just eaten dinner (one of those TGIFriday's frozen pasta dinner things - very tasty) and had some ice cream. I was working on Rachel's sweater, Noel was reading. I noticed a lot of pacing by the kitties, particularly Poe, who seemed to be engaged in running toward the litter box and then running away from it.

Let me put in here that over the weekend, we made a decision to go with one of the covered litter boxes, not because of smell issues, but because we have some Olympic-worthy litter flingers in the house. These guys can get litter EVERYWHERE and often do. So! We got a nice new litter box with a top on it, and the cats had seemed to take to it. I thought. I decided to play National Geographic and observe, because something was obviously up. Here's a sample of what was happening:

Poe goes into the box.

Loki follows him to the door of the box, and thwacks at Poe's tail with his paw.

Poe jumps out of the box and runs away.

2 minutes later, Poe reapproaches the box.

Loki, sprawling in front of said box like Mufasa, King of the Lions, glares at him.

Poe runs away.

3 minutes later, Poe gingerly approaches the box yet again.

Loki ambushes him as soon as he tries to get in the door.

Kelli swats Loki with a magazine.

Poe, thinking he's somehow in trouble (he's very skittish!), runs away.

Poe poops in the bedroom.

Because Loki won't let him in the litterbox, because apparently it's the center of the universe now and is up there with the Playboy Mansion in real estate desirability, but HELLO it's full of cat poop.

I went online for cat help forums and Noel and I discussed at length what measures could be taken to topple Loki's Reign of Litterbox Terror.

We are very scientific and intellectual and smarty-smart about this whole thing. After all, just getting these guys to use the litterbox in the first place was a major ordeal, requiring careful observation of kitten behaviors, having a controlled environment in which to make one change at a time til we figured out the issue (namely, they preferred peeing on paper and so we put mostly paper in the litterbox, slowly changing to more litter/less paper until they got used to the litter.) See? Very sciency! Very hypothesisy! Even the vet commented on it, and said we could be Cat Whisperers! (Except Poe claws my face every time I try).

Anyway. So we debated and discussed and tried to figure out what to do. We came up with a solution of sorts:

(1) Take the lid off the box, since Loki and Poe both love enclosed spaces. This will make said litterbox less attractive as a Fortress of Solitude (although we will be subjected to more litter flicking).

(2) Put out another litterbox in a different location, because Loki, as all-powerful as he seems to think he is, can't be in 2 places at once. I really wish we didn't have to resort to this, since they were just fine using the same box before. Perhaps if they don't use Box Deux I can take it away.

(3) Buy Poe a taser.

Isn't my life exciting? Don't be jealous! There's enough cat poop to go around.